Randomness

25 Random Facts about me
1. I’m currently obsessed with peanut butter.
2. I enjoy writing surveys, administrating them, analyzing data, and writing reports.
3. Calculus was one of my favorite school subjects ever.
4. I’m a horrible speller (thank you spell check), but I’m a grammar fanatic.
5. Instead of being a working woman I would rather be a stay at home mom…I don’t understand why people want to have children to have them raised by someone else.
6. I’m super organized but messy at the same time.
7. My constant need of attention from older men is due to the fact that I always wanted a relationship with my father, but never was able to till I was an adult…apparently the craving for attention lingered.
8. I remember people by their outfits.
9. When I am sad I listen to sappy music and it miraculously cheers me up.
10. I love running and run at least 4-5 times a week.
11. I find mustard and mayo to be creepy and utterly disgusting.
12. I’m a shop-a-lohic and spend way too much money on clothing, shoes, panties, and scrapbook materials that I do not need.
13. I love spending money on gifts for my loved ones…I spent over $1100 on Christmas gifts for Joel.
14. I’m absolutely horrible at guitar hero…I can’t even make it through a song.
15. In college I priced my inner labia- my bf at the time did it and it was in my bedroom.
16. I love roll playing…my favorite is slave/master.
17. I love lemons, but despise lemon in water.
18. I could eat laffy taffy for hours and still want more.
19. Cupcakes with sprinkles make me really happy.
20. I go through my closets once every 3-6 months and donate what has not been used in the past months.
21. I had a crush on my high school boyfriend’s father…I thought that he was the most handsome man ever. I almost melted when he touched my face.
22. I think that happy hour is the best invention ever.
23. Every light bulb in my house is a led or compact fluorescent…I try to save the environment.
24. I love “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry, “Closer” by NIN, and “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” by Britany- they all get me in the mood.
25. I’m going to the Britany concert!!!!

Not so bad after all

I feel so alone right now. All I want to do is cry. I feel rejected and stupid and selfish all at the same time. Yesterday, I felt so rejected by Joel. He asked if I would pick him up from the train after work- so I thought that meant he wanted to hang out. No he just wanted a ride home. I asked him if he wanted to hang out and he said no just take me home. Then he asked me why I didn’t want to hang out, and I told him I did. Needless to say- he got out of my car and went home.

Then, he promised me that he would take me on a weekend trip (the actual weekend and not a middle of the week). And I asked him about it today…he said he can’t because the weekends are for his kids…WHATEVER…it’s ok during the week only because you can tell your wife you’re on a business trip. On the weekend you’d have no excuse. It has nothing to do with his children because he just complains about how they never want to hang out with him anyway. I know that I’m being selfish, because they are his children and he should be around, but I’m just sick of this. WTF am I doing. I deserve so much more. Why do I put up this, stay, I know he is never going to leave her. And if he did, would I really want to be with him? I wouldn’t put up with a cheating husband. I’m so over men at the moment.

To make things even worse: we were going to be taking a mini trip next week and he canceled because of work. If he was going on a mini vacation with his family- would he still cancel…NO.

And now he is going to go to a basketball game with one of his ex ladies…WHATEVER!!! I don’t really care about that- it’s just everything all on top of each other. He can see whoever he wants since I have Ted. I’m just in a bad mood. Mad at Ted too, only his father is sick so I have to be nice and supportive.

Today sucks.

Hours later:

It turned out that today was not so bad after all. During lunch, I went to the gym and ran for 40 minutes. My day got so much better after that...I was happy and alive...I love working out. It makes me feel so good and strong. And to make things even better, I didn't have any crap food today- it makes a difference, eating right, when I eat bad food I can totally feel the difference.

Joel is coming over tonight. I'm happy about that...I'm fucking horny as hell...need to get laid. And I know that he will fuck the shit out of me...he's been drinking....yummy, I can't wait till his huge cock is inside of me...

Another Sexless Night

Ted actually stayed over last night. I was trying to get frisky with him. I thought that I had not really been putting any effort...since I always end up feeling rejected...and yet again that was the case. I only had on panties...did he touch me at all- NO, not even a boob groping or anything. I touched him and sucked his dick. He still has not come-not even once. Grrr. And the thing is I don't suck in bed. I have never had a problem making a man come. I have been told that I give the best head...and it is because I love the penis...

After a while...he just said that he wanted to go to sleep. We didn't even cuddle and I cried myself to sleep.

I think that I'll be breaking up with Ted soon. He doesn't even act likes me wants me- so he probably doesn't. I'm just sick of feeling rejected...I'm done.

Sadness

It sucks that I have two men in my life and I still feel lonely. Joel is great during the work day, we talk all day through im. I see him after work pretty regularly, but by 7:30-8, he's got to go home and be a "family guy." Ted and I hang out (depending on his work) a few times during the week- but never before 7 and he is always leaving by 1030. I want someone who will stay with me. Cuddle me through the night, pillow talk with me on a daliy basis, and neither of them want to/can give me that. It makes me so sad.

I honestly don't really know why I am with Ted. He is so cute, but we act more like friends. Or at least in my opinion. It has almost been 7 months and still no sex...WTF. I don't even bother trying anymore. I enjoy his company and I think I keep thinking that he will change. That he will want to be closer to me, be more involved in my life, but I doubt he will ever change. I keep telling myself that once him and I have sex that I will have to let Joel go. But I don't think it will ever happen. Maybe that is why I'm having an easy time being with Joel, bc I don't really consider Ted to be my boyfriend...god damit I'm pretty fucked up. I honestly have no clue what I am doing in life. Grrr I need to grow up and mature.

Random side note...Joel surprised me today. It was actually very sweet. We met at a bar after work and had some drinks and fried food...yummy...and then we went for a little walk. He had given me a little card saying he had a surprise for me after drinks...I thought it was a cupcake bc we had been talking about cupcakes at work. So we keep walking, and I was thinking WTF it's so cold where are we going...low and behold we go to Hallmark...He told me to pick out a Vera Bradley purse...so nice of him. This is the one I chose:
It Purple Punch and the style is called Lisa B. Too bad I have to wait till Spring to use it though, I thought it was such a nice surprise, he made me very happy.

Chicago

We had a wonderful time this weekend in Chicago! It it my favorite city, I love it! We stayed at the Sax Hotel...it was wonderful...I wish I would have taken a pix of the room. We ate so much food...I swear I gained like 5 pounds just this weekend...We also so Wicked - loved it...Joel compared me to Galinda...I'm just not as airheady as she is...We also bowled...I suck!!! No joke I am the worst bowler that there ever was! We ar!e going back to Chicago in a couple weeks...yippy!!





(Above) View from Chicago River...it was frozen!
(To the right)View from the Signature Room at the John Hancock.


I'm really sad right now, because both my sisters are in the middle of getting divorces. I just found out about one today...

I'm going to either never get married or marry Joel, knowing that he will cheat on me. I won't get hurt when it happens, because I will go into it knowing that it will happen.

Manic Monday

Sometimes I get really annoyed with Joel. I mentioned that I wanted to get a part time job at Victoria's Secret and he got mad. Saying that it's not right for me, because I would have to talk to other men about bras and undies..talk about no self confidence. Then he snapped at me because he got into a fight with his wifey...ahh. WTF I'm ignoring him.

We're going on a little mini trip to Chicago this week- only a couple days. I actually planned and am sponsoring the whole thing. It's part of his Christmas gift/half birthday. We are really going to be living it up- I can't wait...I have so much fun with him! There will be lots of drinks and sex...I can't wait!!!

I'm going to be crafty tonight...good times!

Sundays

Today, like every other Sunday, I spent the day with my family. We (sister and I) went to our parents house for our weekly fest. My mother happens to be an amazing cook...After pigging out, we went SHOPPING!!! Just like childhood days, shopping has been and probably will be the best past time of our family. No wonder I'm a shopaholic and have major issues saving money. I'm not shopping in 09...hahaha. I already spent $100 this weekend. $40 on a sweater...it was on sale though! $40 at target, and then odds and ends...

Joel was angry at me this weekend. He knows that I am seeing Ted, but I don't always tell him when I hang out with him. I hate dealing with it. He knows why I see him and has to accept it because...well, he married. I want to get married and have kids one day- i'm not waiting around forever. Anyways, I told him that I was going clubbing with my girlfriends, and I didn't call him. He has forgiven, but he was whining about it earlier. Ted actually stayed over. I think maybe the 4th or 5th time in our relationship. I really like Ted, parts of me believe that I may love him. Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?

Ted is an only child, and he really acts like it. I have struggled with the relationship. But for some reason I don't want to give him up. He is tall and beautiful. He is shy but funny, and he kisses like no other...I just wish that he would want to fuck already. He is on meds that give him a limp dick, but go to the dr, already and get something to help with it. Grrr.

Introduction

Hello, my name is Misty. I'm 26 years old and I am a mistress. I have been for almost a year now. I'm using this as a way to vent. I need someone to talk to, but I can't turn to friends or family because they would not stand for this type of behavior. I was born and raised Catholic, even went to all Catholic schooling. I'm still best friends with the same girls that I was friends with since grade school. I don't consider myself to be catty, however I am selfish and a bit self centered. I'm also a screaming liberal.

This time last year, I was engaged and living with my future husband. Things appeared to be good on the outside. He was my best friend and I love spending time with him. Only problem was that I was not sexually attracted to him. I love good sex and need it all the time. I want it to be fun and satisfying and to be blunt, he was a one minute man that had no clue what he was doing. I tired telling him, dropping hits, buying books, but none of it seemed to help. I knew that it wasn't right, but the fear of being alone and hurting him kept me there. I felt trapped and wanted an out, but i was too much of a coward to break it off. Plus I kept telling myself that I would be happy with him, he would be a good husband(minus the sex), and be a great father.

I started talking to Joel online. I was bored at work and signed onto im chat. He started talking to me and I oddly responded. I normally don't. Guess I was just really bored that way. We talked about very basic stuff- work, friends, what we did for fun, so on and so forth. I can't remember what he asked, but it was sexual and I told him that I was engaged. I will never forget his response..."oops...it's ok I'm married." At that moment I was both intrigued and disgusted at the same time. I had just recently found out that an ex boyfriend of several years had cheated on me- I thought that I could get answers- why do men cheat? Also, he was a republican...shocker right...crazy republican that cheats...

For some reason, I kept talking to him. I loved the attention that he gave me- even if it was only through IM. We sent pictures to each other, and he praised me about how beautiful I was, how young I am (he is in his late 30's). At first, we would only talk during working hours...he told me about his history, his failed marriage, he children. I confided in him about my problems with my finance. He became someone that I looked forward to talking to on a daily basis. I could be real with him because I didn't really know him.

When I decided to meet him, I knew that I was already making a bad choice. Turns out that we live very close to each other. We met at Starbucks (my fav place). I was so nervous...I was sitting there waiting for him, thinking to myself wtf are you thinking?

Funny how today, that same thought comes into my head on a daily basis. I have tired to give him up several times, but I can't. It kills me because he has 3 children, and a wife who love him. His wife knows, she is stupid for staying, but yet I am even more stupid...I know it makes no sense.

I have even become a cheater. I'm in a relationship, for almost 6 months now. Though, can it be a relationship when u still haven't had sex? Yes that is right 6 months and no sex!!!! I'm begin to question if he is gay, or if he just finds me sexually repulsive.

So that is a brief introduction of me...