Introduction

Hello, my name is Misty. I'm 26 years old and I am a mistress. I have been for almost a year now. I'm using this as a way to vent. I need someone to talk to, but I can't turn to friends or family because they would not stand for this type of behavior. I was born and raised Catholic, even went to all Catholic schooling. I'm still best friends with the same girls that I was friends with since grade school. I don't consider myself to be catty, however I am selfish and a bit self centered. I'm also a screaming liberal.

This time last year, I was engaged and living with my future husband. Things appeared to be good on the outside. He was my best friend and I love spending time with him. Only problem was that I was not sexually attracted to him. I love good sex and need it all the time. I want it to be fun and satisfying and to be blunt, he was a one minute man that had no clue what he was doing. I tired telling him, dropping hits, buying books, but none of it seemed to help. I knew that it wasn't right, but the fear of being alone and hurting him kept me there. I felt trapped and wanted an out, but i was too much of a coward to break it off. Plus I kept telling myself that I would be happy with him, he would be a good husband(minus the sex), and be a great father.

I started talking to Joel online. I was bored at work and signed onto im chat. He started talking to me and I oddly responded. I normally don't. Guess I was just really bored that way. We talked about very basic stuff- work, friends, what we did for fun, so on and so forth. I can't remember what he asked, but it was sexual and I told him that I was engaged. I will never forget his response..."oops...it's ok I'm married." At that moment I was both intrigued and disgusted at the same time. I had just recently found out that an ex boyfriend of several years had cheated on me- I thought that I could get answers- why do men cheat? Also, he was a republican...shocker right...crazy republican that cheats...

For some reason, I kept talking to him. I loved the attention that he gave me- even if it was only through IM. We sent pictures to each other, and he praised me about how beautiful I was, how young I am (he is in his late 30's). At first, we would only talk during working hours...he told me about his history, his failed marriage, he children. I confided in him about my problems with my finance. He became someone that I looked forward to talking to on a daily basis. I could be real with him because I didn't really know him.

When I decided to meet him, I knew that I was already making a bad choice. Turns out that we live very close to each other. We met at Starbucks (my fav place). I was so nervous...I was sitting there waiting for him, thinking to myself wtf are you thinking?

Funny how today, that same thought comes into my head on a daily basis. I have tired to give him up several times, but I can't. It kills me because he has 3 children, and a wife who love him. His wife knows, she is stupid for staying, but yet I am even more stupid...I know it makes no sense.

I have even become a cheater. I'm in a relationship, for almost 6 months now. Though, can it be a relationship when u still haven't had sex? Yes that is right 6 months and no sex!!!! I'm begin to question if he is gay, or if he just finds me sexually repulsive.

So that is a brief introduction of me...